I think I might be a dick, but only over the internet. In real life, I'm saint-like in my coolness, tossing out minor miracles with wild abandon, but when it comes to the interwebs, my grossly huge intelligence may work against me. I have too much time to come up with witty stuff, which then roll out of control down the Hill of Dickery, gathering dickness like a cartoon snowball (but, you know, of dickiosity) until finally reaching the bottom of the hill and slamming into the Net with the force of... well, a big ball of dickiness after rolling down a hill. This cannot be quantified in any kind of Newtonian Mechanic, but instead relies solely upon the recipient of this Big Bag o' Dick to determine just how much of a douche I am. If I know this person, it is probably a pretty low quantification, but when I do it to people I don't know, the scale of my dickiness is inversely proportional to how familiar they are with the thing that is Me. It's this whole big process. And now to round out the number of times I've used the word "dick" (including that one!) or it's various kin-words in this post to an even 10, I shall now say it twice more: dickity dick.

Thank you, and I'm sorry.

-t